that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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