turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
