His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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