I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
