It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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