Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
