nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
