trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
