: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
