and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
