Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
