dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
