sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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