you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
