But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
