We're like a lot better than the average bears
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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