3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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