New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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