woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
