I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
