you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
