I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
