At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
