Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
only you would photoshop your dick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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