i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
