doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
