I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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