I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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