I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
