so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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