Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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