You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
