kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i think my cat just said my name.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
