Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
