The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Found your dick twin last night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
