I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
