im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
