in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
