if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
