i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Farmville is her only friend.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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