i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
His nipple licking is glorious
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