As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
