i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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