playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
