I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
