My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize