There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
