Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
