I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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