"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
