Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
