Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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