lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize