I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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