in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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