Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
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