i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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