mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
