Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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