i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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