NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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