There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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