90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am available for nakedness
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
