Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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