hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
whose parrot is this?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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