once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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