Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
