Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
