So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize